For membership applications, bad beat documentation, rules disputes, and desperate pleas to join our exclusive circle of distinguished degenerates.
Want to join our group? Have a complaint about Bill's shuffling? Think Louie is stacking the deck like one of his property deals? This is the place. We probably won't read it.
For serious inquiries only. "Serious" being a relative term among this group.
complaints@ooplah.net
Checked when Louie gets off a conference call+350 200 BLUFF
Gibraltar landline (cheaper than Spanish mobile)By invitation only
90% bad beat storiesPaul's Villa, Sotogrande
The one with the good view of GibraltarWaste 10 minutes of your life
We'll definitely get back to you (we won't)
Can you afford $20? Do you bring snacks?
Democracy decides (Louie has veto power)
Do you have a pulse? Can you bring a decent bottle of red (minimum €15, no screw caps)? Do you live between Estepona and Gibraltar? These are the only qualifications that matter. Also, you need unanimous approval, which never happens.
According to Spanish Hacienda, absolutely not. According to our wives, it's a "networking group." According to reality, it's seven expats avoiding pool maintenance.
We've investigated this thoroughly. Current theories include: deal with Satan, horseshoe surgically implanted, or he actually can't count cards and wins by accident. Investigation ongoing.
One decent bottle of red wine (minimum €15). Winner takes all seven bottles. Louie shows up with Napa Cabernet that costs more than the buy-in just to write it off. Tim brings whatever's on special at Mercadona. Bill doesn't care - he'll win them all anyway.
Winner takes all seven bottles home. Louie ships the stash to a climate-controlled locker in Malibu. Bill drinks them within a week. Tim re-gifts them at dinner parties. Paul keeps them for "special occasions" that never come.
Yes. Banned: Don Simon (any variety), anything in a tetrapak, Lambrusco, white wine "by accident," rosé ("it's summer!" is not an excuse), and anything with a cartoon animal on the label.
Submit your application to join six middle-aged men in their natural habitat: denial.
Apply Now (Rejection Likely)